Often, I hold back from writing because I am afraid I don't have anything "perfect" to say, or that someone could benefit...so I have resolved to not be afraid of that...and now my hope is just that I do have something thoughtful that will get you thinking or maybe even inspire you to love more today...so here goes
I was talking with a friend today about a relational conflict he was going through. And he told me a little bit about his friend and the context of this person's life. As he told me about his friend, this thought came to me..."so often the hope lies in the context." Now I don't know if this is always the case, but when I think about the conflicts I have had lately, this seems to weave its way in. In a conflict, so much is going on besides the actual "conflict."
In a broadened view, if two people are in conflict, to some degree, their whole lives play into that conflict, i.e. the way their parents, mentors, friends handled conflict; their human uniqueness; their story; their current energy level; job or family or other stress; etc.
There is just so much more going on than we see. Yet often, and I know I do this, I look at the conflict with a narrow view, unintentionally (or intentionally) blinding myself from some important factors that may help lead to a healthy resolution.
So what I am trying to say, and the commitment I am making, is, during conflict, to step back and try to get an accurate and authentic view of the other person, and to take that into consideration before moving forward.
Because after all, what we should all want out of conflict, is authentic communication that leads to a hopeful resolution. We should want the best for the other person, even if we disagree on some things. It takes hard work...are we willing to sacrifice in this way in order to serve others? Especially in the midst of a (potentially heated) conflict?
I know I am so drawn to hope, and often it lies wrapped in the context...
Wow, David. We were just talking about this same thing over lunch at work today. We were sharing about moments in our life when others actions or reactions played a part in shaping who we are today. I think you are right in saying that we need to look at each situation, knowing there is so much more than meets the eye. We need to be sensitive and understanding of each persons issue, keeping in mind the need to seek resolution. This really happens quite naturally if we keep our focus on the other person with whom we are having conflict. Good thoughts, son. You make me proud!
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